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Life is freaking odd.
[and I love it]
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I've lost myself. Somewhere in the midst of all the chaos. Of the day-to-day facade that is life. Thinking it was okay, thinking I could pull it off. Normalcy. Such a vague statement. And one I cannot grasp.
It's happening again. I need to flee. Fly. Run.
And I can't. Not this time. Reality is in my face and I have to stay. Finally. And I'm terrified. Petrified. So unsure what to do. Can I just step away for a time and return as I please? Does the world work that way? It has so far.
But I don't think so. Not anymore. I changed it. We changed it.
And now I'm trapped. Lost. ....so lost.
Where is the open road? Where is the soundtrack? Where are the actors? And where is the script?
Because I need direction. For the first time .. I can't let the wind be my guide. Reality. Sigh.
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| All I can say, I shouldn't say.
Can we take a ride.. Let's get out of this place.. While we still have time.
Life moves whether we want it to or not. Somedays I am lost in missing your smile. Others I am lost in a world without you. Being lost feels like home. Which makes it less like being lost. A conundrum. Happiness? Sometimes. Your eyes... My heart. Why? Because I can. Who needs more reason than that? In this world, we do what we want. Consequences aren't heeded. Actions aren't prethought. And in the quiet stillness of the clouded aftermath .. The world keeps moving.
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| - Still in Birmingham, AL though in a much nicer apartment. - Working full time at Bahama Breeze as a hostess and partime at Books-A-Million as a cafe barista. - Very happily dating Brandon Rome (still) and greatly enjoying every moment of it/looking forward to where it's going. - Finally had my paper work go through from PA to AL, and am finally eligable to take my state board exam in AL for my cosmetology license. - In lieu of this, am studying a BUNCH these days. - Am very happy. - Working on making friends. (sometimes) Also, check out my new online-home. http://dkern.wordpress.com <3! |
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Another day.
Another random bit of random living.
Another week.
Another breath.
Another yawn.
Another blink.
Another bit of entropy.
Another moment in my life.
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